Lessons on going away...

nights have also becum a lil sleepless. i tell my frnd on the phone to hang up at 1:30 in the night sayin tht im real sleepy. as soon as im hung up upon, im wide awake. thinkin, not thinkin, staring into total darkness wondering of what i am doin and how these actions contribute to my life (and if they do at all)

i had a talk wid apa and sammy the other day (on two separate occassions) and i told them tht i am so bored and i have nthn to do at all. they said: u must read. i just made lame excuses to them.

i then spoke to bhaiya this friday, i asked him abt his college life tht he led back then and how he managed alone.

he did not lecture me, he jus simply spoke. he, being the person who inspires me the most in my life, i wudnt miss any opputunity to simply listen to wat he said and think abt it.

abt his inspiring me, im not inspired to becum like he is. im jus simply inspired.


i grabbed a few points and came to a conclusion wid his talk abt the most memorable time in his life.

1. u can read a lot, u can read volumes and volumes of books and things, but u can never ever read enough.
2. he says he started readin when he began college and now being 34 yrs of age and having read more than I can imagine, he says tht he began reading too late
3. read watever is in ur hand. read watever is at hand. jus absorb like a sponge. read pulp. read good stuff. read complete rubbish. but, read.
4. college life begins and frm then on all decisions in YOUR life are YOUR own. ur destiny is in ur hands.
5. never again in ur life will u get tht sort of energy and enthusiasm to do things. if u channelize ur energy you will always get something in the end.
6. always aim to get value of the price you pay. price you pay: not be urself and try to impress other and look cool, value you get: nothing more than sum selfish 'frnds'. price you pay: be urself, be focused, be determined, make goals and achieve them, value u get: probably even more than u paid.
7. wat u giv is wat u get
8. don't get distracted, there will be loads of distractions. u don need to get distracted. u dont NEED to get distracted to get wat u want frm life.
9. u can party ALL ur life, why would u waste tym partyin in the most productive time in ur life.

he tells me now, tht he was never cool material in his college days. he was himself. and now ppl of the 'cool' category at college are either his juniors at work or come to him for work.

and to tell u the truth, i think i love my brother a lil more than b4, jus becoz he thot tht i was worth being told abt his experience and learning frm life.

and yeah, im reading 'eleven minutes' by paulo coehlo ryt now.

- May 20th 2006

'Go DOJOMOTO!' screamed Esa

The men in yellow. These guys have been karting since October 2003. Top left; that's their current team. Starting from left Amit Kapoor, Sunny Deo, Anas Joudi, Shahir Ahmed (my brother) and Anjum Shaikh (in the kart)

The last 24 hour endurance race they participated in was held on the 19th and 20th of May 2007. They stood first in the corporate team championship.

Bottom left; the guys with their winning cup. Esa in the middle (love his expression here!). He loves his Papa racing.

I want to GoKart too! It's so much bloody fun.

She's got strawberry lips!

A very odd thing I came up with. My 3 year old niece and 5 year old nephew were dressed up as pirates one afternoon. They asked me whether pirates had swords. I told them the bad ones did but, we are the cute and nice ones that's why we don't. Now, to get them off the thought of that I had to come up with something. My mother had put a plate full of strawberries out for the three of us. I love strawberries very much (so does fiza!) so I decided to 'share' my berries with the little pirates.

The girl pirate came up to me with the biggest strawberry in the lot. She had already bitten off quite a bit of it. It look terribly ugly. I looked at them for a minute and rushed into the kitchen with my camera.

The other day, while I was breakfasting pancakes and honey (another favourite!), I discovered that honey is a great liner. It can be used to illustrate. So now I had the ugly siren lip shaped strawberry, a dinner plate, honey and a camera.

This is what happened...


(picture: first from top: esa ahmed, fiza khan)
Smack!

November 11, 2006

I am dancing inside,

Sadness watches silently

Alone it sits in the audience

And applauds at my every move

My dance is graceful and my heart is sore

I look at u when you look no more

I stare at myself in the mirror inside

Coz im dancing inside

With sadness, my only friend

The only city which takes u inside is the place where you can go and I sit still at the pavement below where sadness lives

We are not far away now

I am lonely tonight

I could be missing the life that i had before or im moruning over a few more things

Sickness gets me to the core and I scream

I scream to make sure u hear me

And feel what I feel

The quiet ramblings in my mind come out on paper and my heart explodes into a million fragmented pieces,

You’re walking over them, like always

And you must stop before I make you

I wish I were a girl who would be treated more like one.

Do I have to be treated like child?

Im not a child, please not anymore

Im just alone tonight..

alter ego writer

Sometimes I write things and forget. When I find those pages or files on an arbitrary day, I read the words and feel that another person has written it. Just like yesterday, I was thinking of something and wrote down a sentence. I didn't read what I wrote. After a minute my eyes wandered to that scrap of paper and then reading the sentence to myself I realize that at the back of my mind That's what is going on.

"I need to get things right" - That is what I had jotted down.

When I go back to reading the essays that I had written long before, I don't connect with the words there. I feel that someone else has written all that there.

hanging on a line

i dream,
i think,
i am obsessed.

there is nothing else,
my feelings are overpowered by the presence.

i am miserable,
i wait.

in the air

I am in the aircraft right now and the time is 5:00 p.m. My flight from Pune to Dubai via Mumbai was supposed to leave at 2:30 p.m. But, it did not leave on time. Now, I am at the Mumbai International airport which implies that it will take me another 2 and a half hour to reach Dubai.

I don’t like flying. It is a waste of time and energy; also a test of patience. I am bored and tired. A connecting Air India Express flight from the Pune (Lohegaon) Airport is the worst thing that can happen to someone.

Saurabh was to catch a flight to Delhi the other day. He did. But, as soon as he reached the airport, I received an sms from him telling me that his flight is delayed by 3 hours!

Do you realize how much of a pain 3 hours can be on an airport? The Pune airport is a small place. If you stand at a point you can see the hanger with all the aircrafts as well as the people making payments to the rickshaw walas outside.

Poor Saurabh, I laughed at him that time but when my flight was delayed by an hour today I wanted to rip someone’s hair off. Also my anger was tripled. At first they made me open my baggage because they saw my paints in the X-Ray. Then at the check-in counter they got upset with the fact that my last name is Ahmed. So they rang up the Customs officials. These came after 30 minutes to check my profile.

Later, I made plans to visit the bookstore at the airport. Apparently the bookstore falls on the other side of the immigration counter and we were not allowed to go there after the immigration check. What rubbish?! I was annoyed. Now, to add to my annoyance the flight was delayed by an hour. After the delay, we’re still in the bloody aircraft and still in Mumbai.

Also, let me not forget to mention that an international flight requires it’s passengers to report 3 hours prior to the take off time. Of course, I always follow rules. I am such an idiot sometimes.

Leaving,

This is something I can tell my children (if I have children and they grow up to care to listen to me, that is). Tell them tales about the year that I spent living in a hostel. I have finally shifted out and I hope I have a lot many stories to tell about living Outside hostel too. The pictures hanging in mid air above us right now are the ones I captured before I spent the last night in the hostel.

My room number in the hostel was 302. My apartment number now is 301. Strangely the numerals 1, 2, 3, 4 are quite prominent in my life. Especially, in the combination of 13, 32 and 42.

I was just looking outside my large French window and I could see mountains in the distance. I wondered for a second if i should take a picture to show you. At the same moment I realised how beautiful the forest will look in the monsoon when I am back on this chair after the long vacation. Yes, apart from the free WiFi of my college building (which shares a boundary wall with this community) I have a free forest view, sunset and mountains at the distance. Also, let's not forget the wonderfully spacious balcony that I can see all this from.

I should be talking about the hostel and not about the apartment. My hostel warden/rector was quite unhappy that I decided to leave the place. She called me her 'hug-me' doll. Since I got the short crop I have been titled that.

Whenever I look away from the screen I think of what all I have to show you about my new apartment. I think it means I don't know what to talk about the Hostel. Let's not waste more time.

wonder

why do i have an image of myself in the previous post?

i tried to upload my picture in my blogger profile by following the method that i thought was correct. first you are supposed to upload your picture as a post and then copy paste the html address of your picture to the profile. strangely, i did that 3 times and yet there is no change. so basically i will have to leave my image as a post so that you all know that That is me!

Current stats

Reading: On beauty by Zadie Smith ~ Illustration Annual 44, Communication Arts July 2003

Traumatized by: the pile of laundry that I have to do one day, jemma jose!

Playing: nothing at the moment, was playing warcraft a few days back

Listening to: Tell her this by Del Amitri

Recent Movies: 300 – love the end credits but don’t like the highly contrasted scenes, but I guess they were to make it look like the graphic novel 300 by Frank Miller. He’s the same guy who did Sin City too. I’m dying to watch that movie.

Fight Club

The pursuit of happiness – love the movie, it’s a tale already told a few times but not seen this way. The setting, the strange details, very well told.

his porcelain throne

, originally uploaded by akshay roongta.

akshay on his porcelain throne. there is a whole series of these pictures on flickr.com. these people found a pot one day and decided to take it for a ride all around Viman Nagar. this particular picture is the tapri area right across our campus. quite an exciting expedition!

hilarious snaps, just go ahead and let them speak. simply click on his name below his picture.

fight club

I just finished watching Fight Club. I never saw the trailers of this one and always imagined it to be a ‘yo-gangsta’ movie. I have to say I’m totally mind-f88ked right now. It’s a hell of a crazy script. Crazy is actually an understatement. It envelopes your brain and sends it for a toss into the back hole in long lost space of vacuum. It’s 2:30 a.m. and I do believe that when you brain is tired and wants to rest and your mind wants to watch a psychological movie like this one you must listen to your brain otherwise the consequent reaction is mind-f88k.

Whoa! What a horrible experience!

I mean the movie is amazing but this one rattled my brain 5 times what requiem for a dream did! That’s enormously powerful, if you ask me.

Watch it. It’s quite an experience. five stars!

to read

I cannot recall how I got myself to read The Alchemist; whether somebody recommended it to me or did I just find it on the shelves of one of my siblings' bookcases. I had had read only fiction written by Sidney Sheldon (yes, those times in life when you discover the world of fiction through Sheldon books) Jeffery Archer, teenage books written by ghost writers and Harry potter, of course, which also I discovered late and read all five back to back. Then, one day one of our close family friends was having a very excited conversation about this guy called Dan Brown and his famous book, it seemed to me one of those big guys who type too many complicated words in one sentence and form a phrase, which I was never able to decode so I left it at that.

Dan brown, which finally found way into my house, The Da Vinci Code. A very differently exciting read. I liked what he had to say and liked his work so I read three of his books in a row, da Vinci code, angels and demons, deception point. By the way, angels and demons is the best among the three. By now I knew what sort of things I might like to read. Paulo Coelho came in line next, the alchemist, I read it and it changed my life. I didn’t become a maniac who walks around the world telling people philosophies but the truth is I am a maniac who has a lot of philosophies to tell. After reading that one book I seldom talk philosophically unless someone really needs to be told.

After the alchemist, the valkyries, eleven minutes, by the river piedra I sat down and wept and the zahir, I am still reading Coelho books at certain amount of time gaps. Note: you need the time gaps to think and absorb the material. The zahir took me very long to read, you can count 4 pages a day because it was quite heavy. I like his writing but not everyone thinks the same, it’s subjective. I usually connect with the protagonist and become it.

Paulo can tell stories through any human, male or female, child or senior, just anyone, I think he can tell stories through animals and plants too.

To experiment I picked up arbitrary books from Sammy’s shelves and began reading. This took me to read Karen Robert’s Flower Boy. Karen was a very good friend of my brother’s when I was young, then she left town and sent back the book she finished. She has written another book titled July which I want to read very much.

DBC Pierre’s Vernon God Little and Mark Haddon’s The curious incident of the dog in the night time acquainted me with yet another genre.

Last October when I went back home from the town where I study, I listed down the number of books I had read, the list ended at 28!

Okay, let me defend myself when I shay that; 28 is the approximate number since only a very tiny part of my brain is allocated to remember proper nouns. The name is shall list below and the books in italics are the one that I read after coming back here.

Nothing lasts forever
Tell me your dreams
Morning, noon and night
The sky is falling
Master of the game
Kane and Abel
the curious incident of the dog in the night time
Harry potter and the philosopher’s stone
The chamber of secrets
The goblet of fire
prisoner of Azkaban
the phoenix
half blood prince
Vernon God Little
The alchemist
Eleven minutes
The valkyries
The zahir
Fear and loathing in las Vegas
The da Vinci code
Angels and demons
Deception point
Five point someone
One night at the call centre
The flower boy
The hobbit
Memoirs of a geisha
Kite runner
by the river piedra I sat down and wept
shantaram
Maximum city

once upon a timezone

now this is the list of my reading presently, unfinished books or will-complete-some-other-time books
moby dick
veronica decides to die
eragon
life of pi
god of small things
Richard branson
Lord of the rings
On beauty
midnight’s children
interpreter of maladies

A very long way to go. Besides fiction I also love reading blogs and books on art & design. I am I very active member of the library at my own college (symbiosis institute of design) which has the best of art & design books in market right now. After joining college my newspaper reading is dead completely, I am trying my best to revive it.

(applause…louder…faint…dead)

Thank you all and I love you guys, great audience!

bloggalore

Once again I was on my hunt for people who blog in my college. Akshay roongta, our beloved slave driver, began a blogging recently - http://randomn-rambling.blogspot.com/ through his profile I found Siddhart nair, my co- compere, also blogs - http://www.rhetoriksha.blogspot.com/ , I like that blog name actually. In Sid’s blog Aviv Nair, our beloved compere, has posted more than the owner himself.

No, I haven’t read the blog but I really hope it will be a good read.

Today we, slave driver and I, were searching for his old blog but didn’t manage to find it. It does get quite annoying when you forget the address of your old blogs, for this reason I did list out all of my blog addresses in my previous blog. (quiz: how many times have I typed the word ‘blog’ in this post?)

Anywho, my blogs are as follows:

www.aishalbe.blogspot.com
www.bladyblah.blogspot.com
www.eyesnoreos.blogspot.com
(rambling through my weak weak memory to recall what my mood indigo blog is called and of course I am not sure what it really is.
quote I’ll get back to you about it unquote Prasanna - :P )
www.wishingitwas.blogspot.com (this one)

Oh, it's been so terribly long since I blogged.

Reasons: Funda~Mental 2007
Boredom
Laziness

Well, Fundamental is Symbiosis Institute of Design's Festival which was completely amazing. www.sid-fundamental.com

I'm in class right now, the lecture hasn't begun and the teacher (visiting faculty) is sitting right across the room. The projection on the wall (her next lecture) reads "How creative are you?"

Flickr

4, originally uploaded by ned*.

When I joined Symbiosis Institute of Design, one of my seniors introduced me to flickr.com. This is a website where you may upload your pictures. I introduced my close friends and family to it. I believe that it is a very good platform for people who take pictures, whether good or bad. You get comments from random browsers and that really makes a difference. Soon people begin to be regular viewers of your work. Also, you can take pictures of your other work too.

The picture above is what Neda clicked. I really like her work now. Before, I wasn't really fond of it but now I blog about it.

Way to go, ned!

www.flickr.com

Comments Materialize

Just yesterday I was complaining to Maya about how nobody leaves a comment on my posts. Basically, I was whining. Today I thought I should browse through 'breathe' and then I realised that there were a lot of comments that I had not seen before. My day in college began that way and it is a pretty good day.

Comments Materialize

Just yesterday I was complaining to Maya about how nobody leaves a comment on my posts. Basically, I was whining. Today I thought I should browse through 'breathe' and then I realised that there were a lot of comments that I had not seen before. My day in college began that way and it is a pretty good day.