You be my starry sky. But, not so far.
You be my string of dreams. But, not so far.
You be my colors on the canvas. But, not so far.
Just... not so far.

This is to you.

To, the saviors of me whose warm bear hugs and big toothy smiles has gotten me going again. I love you all, I hope you know that. Yes, if this brings a memory of a warm hug in your mind and my toothy grin, this message is most definitely for you...

And most of all to Eks who made Spiffy what she is now. A happy person. :)

I only want to know why.
Answer me before you die.
Tell me why do you
Do what you do
To me..

To bind a sleepless thought.

Sleepless nights possess a tempting sensuality. These seduce you into a play of random thoughts. The thoughts remain lucid only for the moment they are there. If you try to recall them after they have left your domain, you will realise not a trace of it's existence remains with you. Just like Haley's comet with it's bright tail.

Sleepless nights are enticing black holes like. You enjoy the ability of your brain to travel vast distances. This is when you can't direct your mind. It makes these disconnected places and pours it out as a map in your head.

You lie down, in the dark, eyes closed and watch what your mind shows you. Then, not very soon, sleep takes over like the rain clouds take over the clear sky.

I want to say something to you. But, I'll save it for some other time.

one rainy afternoon

one rainy afternoon, originally uploaded by nehal ahmed.

I miss the rain. For those who don't know, my name is a persian word for beautiful, rainy. Therefore, I was born with the love for rain and beauty.

I wish I could get up tomorrow morning, go to the tapri, have a glass of chai in my hand, sit down to watch the rest of the world wake up to the rain that falls.

And sitting next to me would be another person with the same feeling.

'beautiful rain', he would say to me. 'yes', I would smile.

I am standing in the middle,
A pivot against the crowd.
Watching time go slowly,
And people rush past.

In the small pleasures of life, I see,
Me.

many things don't need to be said.
listen.

wishing it was

Look at your address bar in this window. Does it say www.wishingitwas.blogspot.com?
I am completely wishing it was! But what is it that I am wishing? And what should it become?

Truly, I don't know. I just wish I was happy. And, why is it that I am not happy now?
Maybe the truth is that I don't know what happiness is and I just missed it around the corner.

I will never be happy, because I will never know when I am happy.

I am crazy. I am a crazy romantic.

I romanticize every minute of my life.
I emotionally attach myself so much that there is nothing left in the end but hurt.
Everything is the slipping sand in my fist.
And really, if it is slipping then it virtually isn't even there in my fist anymore.

Everything goes away. Everything just goes away.

But, I couldn't be any different from me.
I could never change. If I change or be different, I won't be me.
The drama I play maybe award winning, but it will remain a drama and not real life.
The drama maybe award-winning but I will always remain miserable.
I will always remain miserable behind all the lights and make-up.

Look at me. I'm faking it. I am lying to myself.
You can't see it. I am a good actor.
My drama is award-winning, remember?
It's a flawless imitation.
A blank imitation of space.